Post by Vince Russo on Mar 31, 2015 19:03:10 GMT
MM: Welcome everyone to Monday NitRusso. Here comes Vince Russo and Dixie Carter-Dash.
VR: What a great show we have tonight.
DCD: Indeed. Ladies and gentlemen get on your feet for the new and improved Chris Hero!
MM: Um...
DCD: What the hell?
CH: The place you sent me to closed a few days after I arrived.
DCD: Then where have you been this whole time?
CH: The new 24 hour KFC.
DCD:
VR: We'll think of something for you. You can go now.
MM: What does he want?
VR: What do you want?
PH: I want to know if it's true.
VR: If what's true?
PH: The match you booked for the next PPV. By the way I am greatly offended that you took one of ECW's PPV names.
VR: I didn't take an ECW PPV name. ECW never had a PPV named Living DangeRussoly. And yes, the match has been booked.
PH: You can't be serious.
VR: I am. At Living DangeRussoly, Michael Tarver and Becky Lynch will face The Undertaker and Michelle McCalaway and they will face The Miz and Maryse Mizanin in a triple threat tag match.
PH: Becky Lynch should be getting a one on one match for the Women's Title.
VR: Maybe she will. Leave now or she never will.
VR: As we were saying, we have a great show tonight and...
MM: OH MY GOD!
DCD: *screams*
MM: That's Dante Dash! And there's something on his chest.
Russo: "This is just the beginning." Who the hell did this? Show yourself now!
MM: As Vince and Dixie were saying, we have an amazing show tonight including the new champion, Tamina Reigns, defending the World Title. Let's go to Renee Young.
RY: Please welcome my guest at this time...
RY: Moongoose McQueen.
MM: Renee, baby. How the hell are ya?
RY: I'm ok. How are you?
MM: Fantastic. Couldn't be better.
RY: *screams*
RY: OH MY GOD!
RY: SOMEBODY HELP HIM!
RY: WHAT ARE YOU DOING?
RY: NO, PLEASE DON'T DO IT!
RY: ELVIS, NO!
RY: *screams*
EP: I've said it before and I'll say it again. Don't
with Elvis.
MM: I hate Elvis so much. He's an evil bastard that needs to be stopped.
MM: I agree. I hope Renee has regained her composure because she's with Titus O'Neil.
RY: Um, Titus. Welcome.
TON: Don't worry Renee. You just stand there. I am here to call out that imposter Titus O'Neil. The one that was here last week and rightfully got thrown out for impersonating me. Meet me here next week. That'll be all, Renee.
MM: Great. These guys.
JL: Everyone get on your feet for our comrade, Hulk Hogan!
MM: This piece of **** traitor. He can rot in hell.
HH: Sit down and shut up. Comrade Hogan has something to say.
MM: What's going on?
JC: Hello everyone. I have come before you today to announce that I have declared war. I have declared war on Communism. We will win this fight. We will defeat Communism and we will defeat that traitor Hulk Hogan.
JC: I can be sure of that because of this man, General Norman Showarzkopf.
GNS: We will crush Communism like the pest it is. I will rally our troops and we will take them down. I'll be bringing the troops to Monday NitRusso next week and extinguish this threat once and for all.
MM: Hell yeah. I know we should be impartial but damnit, those Communists need to be gotten rid of. And now to Renee Young with a special guest.
RY: Everyone please welcome, "The Strasbourg Strangler" Pierre Laurent.
RY: I'm sorry. I'm still shaken up from eariler.
PL: Don't worry, Renee.
RY: So, you just got out of prison.
PL: Yes.
RY: I can imagine what you did with a nickname like that.
PL: I know what you are thinking and you're wrong. I am from Strasbourg, France. I ran 25 video rental stores. They called me the strangler because I had a stranglehold on the video rental market.
RY: So why were you in prison?
PL: Insider trading.
RY: Wait, what?
PL: I know what I did was wrong.
RY: So you aren't some violent psychopath looking to take out his frustrations on anyone who gets in his way?
PL: No. God no. I am not a violent person. I'm just here to run the accounting department.
RY: So you're not a wrestler?
PL: Nope. Never been a fan of that stuff but a job's a job.
RY: Um, well, thank you for your time.
PL: No problem, Renee.
MM: I hate this
ing company.
MM: Here comes Tamina. This will be her first title defense. And here comes her opponent...
MM: TransJinder!
MM: The bell sounds and this match is under way. TransJinder has called the ref over.
MM: That's RCW's new ref, Glenn Jacobs. I can't hear what they are talking about.
MM: The ref is calling for the bell. What's going on?
GJ: TransJinder has forfeited the match because Tamina is too strong of an opponent and TransJinder is afraid of what will happen should the match proceed.
MM: Tamina Reigns has won and in one of the strongest ways possible.
MM: We are all out of time. We'll see you next week.
MM: Hopefully this
ing company goes out of business before then.