Post by Vince Russo on Mar 31, 2015 18:53:42 GMT
RY: Welcome everyone to RCW. Please welcome part of the RWO; Vince Russo, Dixie Carter and the RCW Champion, Dante Dash!
MM: Look at them smile. After what they did last week, they should be ashamed.
MM: Mark Henry has a family and they fired him in the middle of that ring.
TM: It was disgusting.
RY: You've received criticism for firing Mark Henry.
VR: Yeah, I have. I authorized Dash firing Mark. Mark didn't want to play ball so he had to go home. It's as simple as that. If you want to blame anyone, blame Mark.
MM: Uh oh. We know that music.
MM: Titus O'Neil is here!
VR: What do you want?
TO: I want to prove myself. I didn't do so well in my match with Mark Henry last week. I want another opportunity.
VR: Fine. You'll have one tonight. You'll be going against the referee turned wrestler, Michael Tarver.
TO: Thank you, Mr. Russo.
VR: So where were we?
MM: Who's music is that? I don't know that music.
MM: Who are these men?
VR: Who are you? What do you want?
1: We are the August 16 Warning kidnappers. We sent the note.
VR: Why did you do it? Why did you abduct him? Tell me, damnit.
1: We did it because, because *laughs* Actually. We didn't do it.
MM: What the hell is he talking about?
MM: HE JUST REMOVED HIS MASK. OH MY GOD! IT'S VIC VENOM!
MM: RUSSO AND VENOM ARE HUGGING! WHAT IS THIS ABOUT?
VR: There was no kidnapping. WE SWERVED YOU ALL. LADIES AND GENTLEMAN, I GIVE YOU AUGUST 16 WARNING...
BRAY WYATT!
MM: WHAT IS THE MEANING OF ALL THIS? WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON?
RY: Please welcome my guest at this time, the newest addition to the RCW roster...
RY: Henry Marks.
HM: How are you, Renee?
RY: I'm fine. Thank you. It must be exciting for you to join RCW.
HM: It is. I'm here to announce I'll be competing in my first RCW match next week. I can't wait.
RY: Good luck to you.
HM: Thank you.
RY: Back to ringside.
MM: It's time for our first contest of the night. Making his way to the ring, Titus O'Neil.
And his opponent, Michael Tarver.
MM: And the bell sounds.
MM: Oh no. We've lost power again.
*GONG*
MM: OH MY GOD!
MM: I THINK THE UNDERTAKER HAS ACCEPTED TARVER'S CHALLENGE!
MM: Wow. That was intense. Let's get this match st-
*BOOM*
MM: HOLY
!
MM: Pardon my language. A bolt of lightening as just struck Michael Tarver. Oh my God.
MM: Paramedics are rushing down to the ring.
MM: I can't believe it.
TM: I'm glad I'm injured and wasn't in that match.
MM: Paramedics have loaded Tarver onto a stretcher and are taking him to the back where he'll be put in an ambulance and taken to a local medical facility.
MM: We'll update you when we have any information.
TM: Now it's time for the next match in the Ladies Tournament.
MM: First, making her way to the ring, AJ Lee.
MM: And her opponent, Brie Bella.
MM: And the bell rings.
MM: AJ acts first with a clothesline and down goes Brie.
MM: AJ going to the top? What is she going to do?
MM: Brie is up and grabs AJ.
MM: OH MY GOODNESS!
MM: WHAT A MANEUVER!
MM: 1-2-she kicked out!
MM: Brie getting up and AJ is running towards her.
MM: A clothesline and it sends Brie out of the ring.
MM: AJ celebrating as if she just won.
MM: What is-
MM: Brie's going under the ring.
TM: TWIN MAGIC!
MM: This isn't good for AJ. Brie and her identical twin sister switch places.
MM: It fools their opponents and gives them the advantage.
MM: And there she is. Natti Bella.
MM: AJ still celebrating. She doesn't even realize the identical twin sisters have switched places.
MM: Natti's in the ring.
MM: And she's dropped to the mat. What?
MM: AJ pins Natti. 1-2-3. AJ WINS! She won and she didn't even know Brie and Natti switched places.
MM: Congratulations to AJ for advancing to the next round.
MM: Brie and Natti having words. Which one is which? I can't tell them apart.
MM: Let's go to Renee Young.
RY: Please welcome Vince Russo.
RY: Can we talk about August 16 Warning?
VR: No. I am not here to answer your questions. I am here to announce a match for next week. Titus O'Neil goes one on one with Bray Wyatt.
RY: What an announcement. Let's go to the ring where Buddy Rose is standing.
BR: Everyone wants an explanation as to why I attacked Elvis. Well, the reason is...
JL: No one cares.
DA: Seriously, who gives a damn? Who gives a damn about you attacking him?
JL: Who gives a damn about Elvis?
BR: You're Marxists so of course you hate Elvis. Everyone that hates Elvis is a no good bastard Marxist.
JL: Again, we don't care. Get out of here. You are wasting our time. We want to find out who Ambrose's opponent at Slamborusso is. Pimp Faarooq get out here.
MM: There's PF and JTG.
PF: I wasn't talking about Ambrose. I was talking about you Johnny. We want you at the PPV.
JL: Me? Fine.
PF: And here's your opponent, JTG! Looks like someone is mad. We'll leave now.
BR: You found out your opponent. Now get out of here.
JL: No.
BR: Fine. You want to fight?
JL: Hmm.
JL: Sure.
MM: Ace Crusher to Buddy Rose!
MM: Johnny and Ambrose are leaving and Rose is out of it.
MM: Let's go to Renee Young.
RY: Thank you. I'm here with Chris Hero. Chris, do you accept Matt Hardy's challenge for the PPV?
CH: I sure do. I have no problem facing him.
MH: I'm glad you've accepted. Now here's the stipulation. Our match will be a lumberjack match.
CH: That's not so bad.
MH: You see, it's not an ordinary lumberjack match. It's a lumberJACK match. All the lumberjacks are named Jack. *evil laugh*
CH: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
RY: What a brutal stipulation. I don't know if the RCW officials will allow that match to take place. Speaking of RCW officials, Vince Russo is in the ring.
VR: I said last week that I would announce Dante Dash's opponent for Slamborusso, so here I am. Ladies and gentlemen, Dante Dash's opponent is a beast. He is the current UFC Heavyweight Champion. He's undefeated with every win coming via knockout. LADIES AND GENTLEMEN. I GIVE TO YOU...
VINCENT KENNEDY MCMAHON!
MM: I can't believe this. There is no way Dash will be able to win. VKM is a beast. No one has beaten him in the UFC and no one will beat him here in RCW.
MM: And there's Dash. He doesn't look too happy.
MM: This will be the biggest main event in wrestling history. I am still in shock.
MM: We're all out of time. Thanks for watching.