Post by Vince Russo on Mar 31, 2015 19:01:30 GMT
MM: Welcome everyone to RCW.
MM: We are going to kick things off with a match. No 20 minute promo here. Just good ol' fashion wrestling.
MM: Coming down the aisle, from Cape Town, South Africa, "The DareWolf" Justin Gabriel. And his opponent...
MM: From Ghana, West Africa, Kofi Kingston.
MM: The bell sounds and we are under way.
MM: What the hell? Akeem?
A: Do not fight. That is what they want us to do. Be peaceful towards one another. Come with me and we will make RCW a better place.
MM: They are going with him.
MM: So much for not starting out with a 20 minute promo.
MM: Here comes Elvis. After last week's horror show that he put on, I'm afraid of what he'll do here tonight.
EP: You all saw what I did to Tommy Dreamer. Who back there has the guts to face me this week?
MM: OH MY GOD! Somebody just smashed a guitar over Elvis's head.
MM: IT'S MOONGOOSE MCQUEEN, THE LEAD SINGER OF FOZZY!
MM: He has left Elvis in the middle of the ring. And he's posing. Somebody get Elvis some help.
MM: It's time for the first real match of the evening, hopefully.
MM: Oh God.
MM: What do you two want?
Miz: We are here to watch the match. My lovely wife, Maryse Mizanin, wants to scout these women. The winner of this match might get a future title shot against her.
MM: We weren't expecting you so we don't have any chairs.
Maryse: We don't want to sit by you anyway. We'll stand here.
MM: Alright then. Here comes Becky Lynch along with Paul Heyman and the man who will compete later tonight for the vacant World Title, Michael Tarver. And her opponent...
MM: With her husband, The Undertaker, it's Michelle McCalaway.
MM: There's the bell.
MM: The two lock up.
MM: What a devastating slingshot suplex.
MM: Lynch picks up McCalaway and applies a bear hug. She can't stand it anymore and she taps.
MM: Lynch wins the match.
MM: You better prepare for that bear hug, Maryse.
Miz: Did I say you could talk to her?
MM: What's Heyman doing?
MM: And now Lynch has Taker's attention.
MM: There's Tarver.
MM: Taker doesn't see him.
MM: We got us a flying Maggle.
MM: Crossbody to Taker.
MM: Lynch throwing Michelle out of the ring.
MM: And right onto Taker.
MM: I hope those three are happy.
MM: Miz and Maryse have gone down there.
MM: They are having a staredown.
MM: Let's go to our broadcast colleague, Renee Young.
RY: Thank you. Please welcome my guest at this time, Titus O'Neil.
Titus: *barking*
RY: You're not Titus O'Neil. Security, please escort this man away. I have no idea how he got back here.
KN: Ok, buddy. Let's go.
MM: Well, that was unfortunate.
The Strasbourg Strangler has just been paroled.
And he's coming to RCW
NEXT WEEK
MM: It's time for the World Title match. Here comes Vince McMahon.
MM: And Tamina Reigns.
MM: And Michael Tarver. Managers have been banned from ringside to make this a fair fight.
MM: And finally, the former World Champion, Dante Dash.
MM: The bell rings.
MM: Tarver punches Dash.
MM: Vince grabs Tarver.
MM: What an amazing German suplex.
MM: Vince is posing. What is Dash doing?
MM: Dash rolls up Vince.
1..2..3
MM: Vince has been eliminated.
MM: Dash and Tarver are exchanging blows.
MM: Tamina goes over to them and grabs their heads.
MM: She smashes their heads together.
MM: Tarver stumbles back and Tamina hits the Superwoman Punch.
MM: And she hits Dash with one.
MM: She's pinning both men.
1..2..3
Dash and Tarver are eliminated.
MM: Tamina has won the match.
MM: There's Dixie Carter-Dash and Vince Russo with the World Title.
MM: They've entered the ring and are giving the title to Tamina.
MM: Tamina is the new RCW World Champion.
MM: What a night this has been.
MM: Indeed. Tamina looked very strong.
JL: Excuse us but I said last week that I had an announcement to make this week.
JL: Thank you for clearing the ring for us. As I was saying. I have a huge announcement.
MM: OH MY GOD! IT'S HULK HOGAN!
MM: This is surreal. The Red, White and Blue staring down the evil red commies.
MM: Hulk Hogan is as American as it gets.
MM: Wait a minute. He's ripped off his headband and dropped the flag.
MM: HE JUST LEG DROPPED THE FLAG! THAT SON OF A BITCH. WHAT THE
IS GOING ON?
MM: HOLY ****! NO. NO. NO. DAMNIT. NO.
MM: AMBROSE IS GIVING HIS JACKET TO HOGAN.
MM: DAMNIT. NO. I'M GOING TO BE SICK.
MM: WHY HOGAN WHY?